Hallo und Willkommen!

I know I know. It has been two months. As in eight weeks. As in seven weeks later than I promised promised promised I would stick with updating my blog every week.

But.

I have done some shit since then. Like got MARRIED. And moved to GERMANY. Like the country. That isnt the United States. Because it is GERMANY.

Firstly, I must tell you I feel like freaking Dorothy. Because one minute I was minding my own business in San Luis Obispo, eating Gobbler sandwiches with Mel and teasing Simon for being fat, and then the next...BAM. A tornado of moving and shipping and wedding and honeymooning and moving and lugging 40 boxes of IKEA furniture up two flights of stairs and unpacking and realizing I dont speak German in a country where that is a useful skill, and I find myself here. Looking around like Huh? All of that really happened? What are all of these spare parts to the IKEA bookshelf, and where in the hell is Toto?

And I am sitting on my GERMAN couch in my American chonees, still a little shell shocked what with all the life alteration that has exploded around me, writing in part to keep loved ones abreast of our comings and goings, as well as document this year of GERMAN adventures so that when I look back someday, I will perhaps write a book on taking giant fucking leaps off of rhetorical life cliffs and how to survive that.

But for now I have about 47 loads of laundry to do in our GERMAN washing machine that is roughly the size of a Barbie Dream Machine I had when I was like six, forage for groceries in a GERMAN grocery store, and then prepare said sustinance in the Easy Bake Oven that is my GERMAN stove/oven combo. Which begs the question, what do the damn GERMANs have agains normal sized appliances? And what is with the summer weather that randomly dumps buckets of rain the second one pokes their American nose outside?

Answers to that and much more coming up!

auf Wiedersehen, bitches.
xo
the GERMAN scrap.