the sappy is blinding.

I was talking with my friend D today about relationships, the lack thereof, and the struggle with each. The gist of it was that its easier to be a friend to someone than be in a relationship. There is less pressure for perfection, reduced expectations, and you don't have to buy them prezzies in the hopes that you will get some.

While we were discussing all of this (careful...this is where the sap comes in) I realized how lucky I am to be in the relationship I am in. With each challenge that D and I brought up, I realized that G and I have found our way around it. Maybe we were bitching at each other the whole time, maybe we came close to punching each other ( or in my case, doing cup checks), but we hobbled through. I think back to our disfunctional roots as friends that pretended not to flirt with each other, and wonder how I got here. Unsuspectingly, three years later (holy crap, i know) I find myself in a relationship with a man who both loves me for who I really am, and makes me laugh so hard I pee a little.

So, cheers to that.

Guilty Pleasures

So, does anyone remember that episode of Sex and the City where they talk about their "secret single behavior"? For those who don't, basically the girls all talked about the weird little habits they have when the opposite sex isn't around. Then Samantha got laid. It was a pretty good episode.

Anyway, since Ive had a quiet little Sunday here chock full of "secret single behavior" (I'll try to come up with a less stupid name later) I thought I would bear them to the interweb. I do this mostly because blogging brings out the sharer in me, but also because I'm hoping that my faithful readers (all 2 of you) will return the favor and tell me their weird little habits. Seriously, it will bring us closer, I know it.

So, when you are not around I...

-pluck my eyebrows in one of those intense mirrors that makes you feel bad about your pores
-eat tuna fish straight out of the can with a cocktail fork
-braid my hair and pretend I have corn rows
-eat whatever has the misfortune to be in my fridge...like pepperoni in a tortilla
-pretend I know how to dance hip hop
-tease Simon about how fat he is
-model my shoes
-give myself the preggers belly in the mirror
-watch the Girls Next Door and Denise Richards: Its Complicated
-flip through recipe books and tag things I want to make (then go promptly to the fridge for pepperoni and a tortilla)
-vacuum in my underwear
-look at wedding websites (i know I know, I'm ashamed of me too)


Thats all I can think of right now, and although I haven't done all of those things today...I very well might before the day is out. With that being said, dont let my sharing be for naught. Tell me yours, maybe we can trade ideas.

So, for about the last half hour (okok, 2 hours) I have been trying to post the New Kids on the Block "Summertime" video for your viewing pleasure. Because seriously, it doesn't actually get any better than the NKOTB. I will fight you on this. But, as it turns out, I am computer (or youtube) illiterate and couldn't get the damn thing to post. So here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TLv1tm9kws

That is my contribution to your daily happiness. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Ps. Donnie, if you are reading this, I love you...let's make out.

the dizziness of freedom

So today I came to the somewhat gripping realization that all of my friends who are already in relationships seem to be engaged. Which is great! (she says without even a hint of jealousy.) Seriously I love you all and am looking forward to being "that drunk girl" at your weddings.

But with all the joyful news comes a real feeling of being adrift. Lets see if you can follow my musings here. Although a solid half of my friends are walking down the aisle pretty soon , a whole other half is pursuing less domestic paths. No one is going in the same direction anymore. Without the confines of the college schedule, we all scattered to the proverbial wind, and I cant possibly be the only one who thinks it's a little terrifying.

Maybe its the natural side effect of being in one's mid twenties. Maybe it's the realization that you are long done with puberty and you aren't getting any taller and your boobs aren't getting any bigger, at least not naturally. Or the onset of all those mental illnesses that are just showing up (it's true. I took a psych class). But suffice it to say I think we are all in a bit of a quarter life crisis. Engaged or not (mostly not in my case), employed or not, the consensus among my cohort seems to be leaning toward a feeling of stress and malaise. Which is fun.

I feel like, for the first time in my life, there are no expectations. No one is pushing me or lecturing me or relying on me. This leaves me with only myself to rebel against (which isn't nearly as satisfying as it sounds), and an existential crisis.

I remain positive though. After all, I have all those weddings to look forward to.

the beginning of the end.

Today is the day folks. Dont get too excited now. Due to the school year ending, and me having seriously very little to do at work, I have gotten over my misgivings that blogs are totally self involved and a little like verbal masturbation, and have joined the masses.

Stay tuned.