So G and I have this little game. And I think it really says something about who we are as a couple, and why it is that we will someday be the wrinkled old bags waving our canes at trick or treaters and telling them to get off our porch.
We play "the Pet Peeve Game" in which we vocalize what we believe to be wrong with the world and all the assholes in it. Not a lot of guidelines involved (for two such rebels as we), the only rule being really that we don't announce what we hate about each other (that we save for the privacy of the bedroom). It's truly a cleansing process. Nothing appeals more to my passive aggressive nature than cackling to the man I love about the sins of humanity, and how much I hate crocs.
And I must emphasize how good we are at this game. The combination of our mean spirits and competitive natures lends itself to a scathing one-upmanship that has crafted many a mortal blow, if we ever had the guts to proclaim it to the outside world. Which we dont.
Where Im going with this is, since G is off defending our freedom and sticking it to Al Queda, he is not readily available to play with me (in any sense of the word). And it's been a crap-for-brains kind of week and I am bursting at the seams with animosity. So I'm going to use my blog for evil...
Pet Peeves (this week):
-people that say "girl", not in the context of a normal sentence, but like "guuurl".
-when the starbucks guy makes an executive decision and does not give you whipped cream on your hot chocolate. I know it has like 800 calories, give me the whip too. I can handle it.
-when people take/leave things on my desk without asking
-leggings worn as pants. I . Just. Dont. Understand.
-when people dont hold the door when you are right behind them
-when there is an enticing bowl of post halloween candy that you run up to only to discover that its all Three Muskateers and regular M7Ms. Sick.
-crocs (obviously.)
But its no fun only just announcing mine. Tell me yours! And if they are really good, I will like you as much as G.
6 days ago
5 comments:
I feel like I respond to all your blogs, but I don't care. Let the world know how much I love you...
Anyway.
1. When my boss inhales REALLY loudly and suddenly through his nose, like he's snorting his own personal line of invisible coke .
2. The "Love Shack" by the b-52s. Never was a more annoying song ever written into being.
3. Egg salad with pickles in it. Bane. Of. My. Existence.
4. When people offer you candy and its ginger candy, so you have to say "get your hippie-freak-not-real candy away from me".
Ok, I'm joining in on the things that totally piss me off:
Interrupting people. Seriously, when did it become okay to just interject your thoughts in the middle of someone else's? And, for the record, it doesn't make it better just because you put your hand up and say "Uhh...(insert thought here)" before you start.
People who start sentences with "I usually don't talk about politics but...". Well, if you usually don't talk about politics, don't talk about them now. If you want to talk about them, just own up to it and say what you have to say. Jeez!
Women who are "naturally" skinny and claim they have "good genes" and that's why they can eat whatever they want and not get fat. Don't tell me that, just let me believe that you are barfing in the bathroom after lunch. It makes me feel better about myself.
Ok, it was nice being evil for a bit!
Yes! I love this game, although C doesn't play nice...he always finds a way to debate the things that are my bane of the moment...
Anyhoo:
(1) Uggs with skirts and/or shorts...come on! If it's cold enough to wear sheepskin boots, it's OBVIOUSLY too cold for shorts. Duh.
(2) People who think that they have it oh-so-bad, and constantly gripe about it. Give. me. a. break.
(3)Know-it-alls. Especially the ones that try to correct instructors. They're the one with the Ph.D., dude. Grrrr.
(4) People using any piece of property belonging to me without first asking. If they had just asked first, I would have said, "yes, I'd be more than happy to lend you that." But since they didn't, now it will be hidden away never to be found by anyone. Ever again.
students who walk into my office 55 minutes before registration starts and ask "um...so what should i take next quarter? i haven't even looked yet."
when i give someone (namely a student or recruit) important paperwork and they lose it. what's even worse is when i find said paperwork in the bathroom, scattered on the floor, and they didn't even know they lost it. UGH.
loud, open-mouth breathers. enough said. (yes, this is very similar to liz; i don't care, it's f'ing annoying)
man i love my friends. now i know how to piss you all off. can you hear the loud breathing now?
im glad you are all closet bitches like me :) muah!
Post a Comment