Of Russian Jewish Bazaars

So you know how I promised never to write wedding planning stories on here unless they were funny? Well Im pushing the limits. Because although this situation might have been funny to a fly on the wall (really it depends on the fly's sense of humor) it sure wasn't as funny to Tina at Edna Valley Winery.

My parents came down this weekend to sign all of the paperwork for the winery that we had picked out a while ago, but as luck would have it, my number one choice, Edna Valley Vineyard got a cancellation for my date, and Angel of Patience Tina (APT, as she might now be called) shot me a line. Little did she know that she was signing up for the most trying two hours of her life (unless she has given birth, in which case, its a toss up).

We pull into the winery this morning a solid 40 minutes after we said we would be there. Because we are Lightmans, and that is how we roll (we roll late). Tina might have caught on to who she was dealing with when my dad made her walk the dimensions of the tent out on the lawn. Three times. But you know what? Tina persevered. She assured both of my parents that although yes, she was sure that Russians party harder than anyone, ever (this being a fact my dad really tried to drive deep) the winery was more than equipped to handle our soviet extra-hard-party needs.

Our little parade of disfunction traipsed after Tina through the kitchen where we distracted and nearly tripped no less than three caterers , and on through the grand dining room where I, strictly out of curiosity, tried to test the structural integrity of a folding wall.

I like to think that it was when Tina ushered us into the meeting room to hammer out logistics that she understood the full gravity of the wedding she was about to entangle herself in. Oh, we asked to see table cloth samples, then argued about each individual one amongst ourselves, we asked to see wedding videos, then didn't watch them as we argued about them amongst ourselves. And although Tina kept telling us it was too early to really delve into seating arrangements, flower choices, or cake designs, we did not listen as we were too busy arguing amongst ourselves.

We ended with a bang, tasting everything on the wine list, and scarfing down tasting wafers like they were crack rocks, and we their hapless addicts. Oh, and we stole snacks from the event going on that day. But by this point Tina had slipped away to her office.

And really, I wouldn't have it any other way. My family is loud, strong willed, and we all possess the irrepressible urge to talk only when at least one other person is talking (if two people are already talking, well thats even better). But we are also hands down, the funniest, most entertaining people. Seriously, my wedding is going to be amazing. I just hope Tina can hang.