Dont Be Surprised If I Actually Do This

Martha Stewart tells me I need wedding favors. She is very adamant about this. I am free to a wide variety of low tariff crap, including but not limited to low tariff crap I bake and wrap myself, but nevertheless, if I am to have any kind of wedding, I am to have favors. Adorable, thoughtful, color coded favors. Goddam Martha.

Geoff and Mariana: The perfect pear (intentional misspell painted on the side of a tacky pear candle).

Instead, I turn to Kerri for favor advice. True to form we immediately nix any hope of punnery airbrushed onto useless shit. And this is what came of two genius minds combined. What I like best is how satisfied we are with ourselves.

2:47 PM kerri: you could bake a bunch of shit

i freaking got it

tiny booze bottles

2:48 PM member how cute they were?

and then say, "geoff and mariana: drunk in love..."

haha

2:49 PM or "geoff and mariana: the perfect drunks"

2:50 PM or "geoff and mariana: it's water"

or "geoff and mariana: why don't we get drunk and screw"

oh man

make me stop

2:54 PM me: no i love them

keep them coming

2:55 PM kerri: "geoff and mariana: he had to liqour her up to get her to agree to this shit"

geoff and mariana: because marriage is better when you're hammered"

2:56 PM me: i love you forever

kerri: but really, i think thats a good idea

i bet bev mo would give you a discount

since you'd be buying them in bulk

2:58 PM me: i fucking love you

this is going on my blog

you are welcome

kerri: ah hell

i'm gonna be famous

2:59 PM me: you sure are

kerri: yay

me: i think i want to try

kerri: i could come up with more

ps. that HAS to be your wedding favor

3:00 PM me: geoff and mariana: enabling each other since 2005

kerri: thats funny

3:01 PM me: geoff and mariana: dont let them be the only drunk people here

3:02 PM kerri: geoff and mariana: saying "i do" to being shit shows for life

3:03 PM me: geoff and mariana: nothing says love like 1.2 oz of tequila

kerri: haha

me: geoff and mariana: better together, best when drunk

3:04 PM kerri: geoff and mariana: for your hangover tomorrow morning

me: god i really want to do this now

kerri: geoff and mariana: cheers to sloppy sex

i think you probably have to

me: these are too damn good