Take a Penny Leave a Penny.

So I keep a decorative basket of condoms and lube in my office. Sometimes it holds candy or treats. But usually condoms.

I'm not positive what that says about me as a student affairs professional, but I think it really sets the tone in the room. Its pretty automatic street cred for the students that come in to talk to me. Because if I have condoms that must mean I want them to get laid, and I cant possibly be all bad. It's very similar to when I let the occasional obscenity slip in a meeting. Holy shit she swears. She is like us but with better shoes.

Added bonus? The basket is really fucking cute. ( See how I slipped that one in? Im just begging you to validate my cool.)

Anyway, I like to keep well stocked because A) nothing is more depressing than a lone condom or pillow of lube laying in a decorative basket, and B) no one ever has the huevos to take the last one. ever. Seriously. It will lay there for weeks untouched by man.

And I know dont if there is an influx of sexual activity (could be the season?) or if all of a sudden my stash has been discovered by the campus at large and the grapevine is humming with "Dude, there is an office here encouraging us to be sexually responsible!", but man! There aren't enough condoms in the world to keep that thing full. I have tried.

It was brimming on Monday morning. Tuesday morning? One left! One! And I thought hey, maybe there was an orgy I didn't know about. Or someone has finally learned to make balloon animals!

So I restocked. And today? Three left! If the trend continues I might contact Trojan directly and tell them Hey! The economy is tanking but seriously you should open a factory in this town. Because we know how to party. But you know, safely.